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Signs You Have Had Too Much of the 90's

  1. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have email addresses.
  2. If you can't order it by midnight and have it delivered by noon the next day, it is just too slow.
  3. Your Stockbroker's name ends in ".com"
  4. A Blind date means chatting online with someone you haven't met before.
  5. Keeping up with sports means having your favorite sports teams as Bookmarks
  6. Most of your books are bought online. "Real world" bookstores are now prized as your favorite cafe to hang out, work and meet people of the opposite sex.
  7. Your food in the refrigerator has been there so long some, that you have received a grant from the National Institute for Health to do germ research.
  8. You lecture the neighborhood kids selling lemonade on ways to improve their efficiency
  9. You get all excited when it's Saturday and you can wear sweats to work.
  10. You find you really need Power Point to explain what kind of work you do.
  11. You normally eat out of vending machines and at the most expensive restaurant in town within the same week.
  12. You apologize to your friends who didn't get holiday cards from you. "Sorry, I only sent "email cards" this year, you just didn't make the cut"
  13. You think a "half-day" means leaving at 5 o'clock.
  14. You get most of your jokes via email instead of in person.
  15. You tried to enter your password on the microwave.
  16. You now think of three espressos as "getting wasted."
  17. You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years.
  18. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
  19. You e-mail your son in his room to tell him that dinner is ready, and he e-mails you back "What's for dinner?"
  20. Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.
  21. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year.
  22. You didn't give your valentine a card this year, but you posted one for your e-mail buddies via a web page.
  23. Your daughter just bought a C.D. of all the records your college roommate used to play.
  24. You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea.
  25. You check your blow dryer to see if it's Y2K compliant.
  26. Your grandmother clogs up your e-mail Inbox, asking you to send her JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.
  27. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone IS home.

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