| Term | Definition |
|---|
| 486 | The average IQ needed to understand a PC. |
| State-of-the-art | Any computer you can't afford. |
| Obsolete | Any computer you own. |
| Microsecond | The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete. |
| G3 | Apple's new Macs that make you say "Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago." |
| Syntax Error | Walking into a computer store and saying, "Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object." |
| Hard Drive | The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, esp. after a Syntax Error. |
| GUI | What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. (pronounced "gooey") |
| Keyboard | The standard way to generate computer errors. |
| Mouse | An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate. |
| Floppy | The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer. |
| Portable Computer | A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips. |
| Disk Crash | A typical computer response to any critical deadline. |
| Power User | Anyone who can format a disk from DOS. |
| System Update | A quick method of trashing ALL of your software. |
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