Signs That You Are No Longer a Kid
- You can live without sex but not without glasses.
- Your back goes out more than you do.
- You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
- Your best friend is dating someone half their age...and isn't breaking any laws.
- You sing along with the elevator music.
- You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
- You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
- You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
- You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
- Neighbors borrow your tools.
- People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
- You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
- You answer a question with, "because I said so!"
- The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.
- You take a metal detector to the beach.
- You wear black socks with sandals.
- You know what the word "equity" means.
- You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.
- Your ears are getting hairier than your head.
- You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
- You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize.
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